Essays

Counting Waterfalls

"We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures." — Thornton Wilder Photo by Dave Pomes I remember a moment. Dave and I were on a cruise in Alaska sitting on the balcony of our stateroom, sipping wine, watching ice- and tree-covered land slide past us in the fading light. We counted waterfalls, not talking very much. The sunset did all the work needed. I remember thinking: I am so grateful to be here. Not in a journal-promp

7 days ago3 min read

All The Girls Are Reading It

Children do not constitute anyone's property: they are neither the property of their parents nor even of society. They belong only to their own future freedom." — Mikhail Bakunin Years ago just after my son started Sunday school, he came home one day and whispered conspiratorially to me, "Noah has two moms." Then he leaned back and watched my reaction. Instead of giving him one, I leaned in close and said, also in a whisper, "so do you." He thought for a moment, scrunchin

Feb 243 min read

The Bean Queen

"Attention is the beginning of devotion." — Mary Oliver I live with two dogs. The first, Mim, is a 15 pound agent of chaos who snapped and lunged at a garbage truck on our morning walk, then looked back at me expectantly. After sighing a moment, I praised her for menacing a garbage truck. She’ll pee anywhere–a specific leaf, a crack in the middle of the street while we are crossing it, on her sister’s head. She has a chonky torso, long, spindly legs with knees that bend

Feb 177 min read

High Tea and Dog Hair

"Happiness is not having what you want. It is wanting what you have." — Rabbi Hyman Schachtel My friend Marie and I have been slowly working our way through every tea room in the Los Angeles area. We try a new place, sip tea, eat tiny sandwiches, and add comments to our joint running list. Some places get a simple "nice scones." Others get enthusiastic stars, exclamation points, and a WE WILL RETURN. We'd been wanting to go to the Peninsula Hotel in Beverly Hills for over a

Feb 106 min read

A Mother's Speech To Her Son For His Bar Mitzvah

L'dor Vador Hebrew, "From generation to generation" These days of celebration go by so fast. I want you to pause for a moment and really take this in. All these people are here — for you. To celebrate your hard work, your growth, your journey. Every single one of them loves you, supports you, and wants the very best for you. So take a breath, look around, and really be present to today, right now, because this now is really special. When I think about who you have become, I d

Feb 33 min read

How 14 Savings Accounts Keep Me Sane

"A big part of financial freedom is having your heart and mind free from worry about the what-ifs of life." — Suze Orman I have 14 savings accounts. Not including my main checking and savings in a big bank. Fourteen separate accounts, each with its own name, its own purpose, its own little job to do. They're all housed in a high-yield savings account at an online credit union, which makes it just difficult enough to access that I can't impulse-spend from them. And I've been d

Jan 274 min read

Crystals in the Concrete

"It is in the shelter of each other that the people live." — Irish proverb I never set out to be a landlord. I was just trying to survive. Someday I'll write that whole story—the divorce, the panic, the scrambling to keep my house and feed my son. For now, this is what I've learned about stewarding a home when you have an ADU. When they were pouring the concrete for my cottage behind my house in 2020, my son and I dropped tiny crystals into the foundation. Each one carried a

Jan 207 min read

The Middle Path

“The three little words humans love to hear more than any others are (drumroll please)... You. Are. Right.” -Jen Sincero I am generally in one of three listening phases in my car: books, podcasts, or music. I just finished the music phase and currently, I'm in the podcast phase. I tried out one that was highly recommended the other day. “You are doing it wrong,” she began, then stated, “and I’m going to tell you how to do it right!” My reaction to this was purely physical:

Jan 133 min read

Resolutions for the New Year

What are your resolutions for the year? "For last year's words belong to last year's language. And next year's words await another voice." — T. S. Eliot For the past three days, my feed has been flooded with New Year's resolutions. They all sound impressive. But I keep wondering: whose life are these for? From losing weight to taking a break from social media — these are all great ideas. But are they sustainable? And what do they even mean? So many people have a vision of who

Jan 33 min read

What Can I Do: Part 3

“My hands are small, I know, but they’re not yours, They are my own.” - Jewel Today I washed dishes for an hour and a half straight. ...

Jul 25, 20254 min read

Representation Matters

“When I was a little girl, all I wanted to see was me in the media. Someone fat like me, Black like me.” –Lizzo Christmas Movies are definitely a thing. Year after year, I hear about how excited so many people are to watch the romance and feel that Christmas cheer. Christmas taking over the universe and Christmas movies are a part of life, even for those of us who do not celebrate Christmas. I’ve only seen a couple of Christmas movies in my lifetime. Love, Actual

Jan 15, 20235 min read